Thursday, 8 October 2009

Will The Real Conservatives Please Stand Up?

I'm so looking forward to David Cameron's filibuster today.

I mean, how on earth is he going to deliver an election clarion call with a dozen fence posts firmly lodged between his rear seating cushions?

The Lisbon referendum issue, for example, has been well addressed elsewhere. The upshot being that the Tories will definitely maybe tackle it ... perhaps. If the treaty is ratified by the Czechs, which Cameron knows is almost certain, he will apparently wave his arms around like Kevin the teenager, crying "S'not fair, I hate you". Well, I think that's the gist of it, anyway.

There isn't much inspiring stuff emanating in other areas either. Now, forgive my naïveté, but I sort of believed that this conference was going to be about the Tories sticking great big knives into a crippled Labour party. Emphasising the huge differences between airy-fairy lefty ideology which has brought the country to its financial, spiritual and emotional knees - and Tory principles such as self-determination and personal responsibility.

Here we are, a nation crying out for a different set of beliefs, for a party that will reject every ridiculous dogmatic policy forcefully injected into our lives by this most despised government in history, and the response from the most likely successors is ... wait and see.

Actually, that's probably being unfair. They have said they will increase the retirement age by a year for women, and also committed to the drastic step of freezing public sector pay for an entire year. Yes. A full twelve months! Radical, huh?

OK, enough of that. Let's get down to this blog's pet subject.

From the Conservative Party web-site:


Our goal is simple: to make Britain the easiest and best place in the world to set up and grow a business.

Oh yes. So how are they going about that, then?

Well, let's leave Liberal Vision to point out a few set-in-stone policies, shall we?

Working classes should not be allowed to drink late - or shop late for that matter….

First off, the Conservatives pledged today to ”tear up” the Government’s licensing regime and give “local residents” the power to block late alcohol licenses. Local councils will also be able to charge higher fees for pubs and clubs wishing to open after 11pm and they will impose a levy on corner shops and takeaway outlets that stay open beyond 10.30pm and sell alcohol.

This is supposedly in order to pay for the extra policing - and will we see more police on the streets ? Of course we wont. Will we see more pubs,clubs and corner shops close? Yes we will. We poor working folks that get home late from work and pop into the corner shop to grab a much needed ready meal and bottle of wine will of course suffer, but this should not affect the leafy lanes of Surrey and Richmond.

Can you not see those businesses growing wildly under such a regime? Chris from Epsom & Ewell can, it would seem.

Actually working classes should not be able to enjoy low cost alcohol anytime

In the same speech, Grayling announced that supermarkets will be banned from selling alcohol at below cost price as a loss leader and taxes on certain drinks (including alco-pops and super-strength beer) will be rapidly increased.

Err ... are you Labour in disguise?

Chris. Mate. How is that making Britain the easiest and best place to grow a business?

Fortunately, the Tories are acutely aware that 52 pubs per week are closing, considering the fact that two thirds of Tories voted against the smoking ban that killed them. A party that wishes to enhance property rights, personal responsibility and defend the business owner's freedom to be self-determinant, are definitely going to do something about it, aren't they?

Course they fucking are - not.

"Mr Simmonds [Tory shadow minister for health] agreed with Mr Clark that the smoking ban is merely pushing the problem into people’s homes or onto the streets, but said it is a law that no Government would overthrow."

Staggering, ain't it?

A non-committal government in waiting can only be absolutely certain on one thing. That they are going to fuck up your leisure time more than the one which the country is currently in the process of rejecting.

A party who are supposed to be all for punishing the guilty, whilst allowing those who pose no threat to society to live their lives freely, are advocating - collective punishment, the presumption of guilt, restrictions on informed personal choice, and the denial of businesses to exercise their own rights on their property - as firm manifesto commitments.

The rest we are supposed to guess at.

Judging by the evidence on display, I don't reckon the rest will be too appealing either, do you?

Or, as Liberal Vision puts it.

Yes people. Today we were given a revealing insight of what Cameroonian Britain will look like. It may be many things but “liberal” it aint.



BTS said...

It's a good job that politicians wear different coloured ties or we'd have no idea which one is bothering us..

AntiCitizenOne said...

It's 1984, without the cheap gin and fags.

I am Stan said...

These Bullingdon Club toffs don`t give a fuck about the working or middle class...

They will do as toffs have always done ,screw us with taxes and make sure we stay away from their leafy estates and ancient clubs ,they will ignore us ,ridicule us ,use us and make sure we stay in our place

Labour have enjoyed making themselves the new elite and milking their system for twelve years ,now those who believe themselves to be the elite by breeding are drooling at the prospect of regaining their rightful place as our lords and masters...

The boot in our face may be more polished than Labours but its still gonna hurt...

fuck em...the lot of em..

Chris: said...

Dick, please don’t have a pop at Chris Gray-ling-a-long-ling-long. Personally I think he’s a jolly good egg. I listened, enraptured by what he had to say yesterday…and I almost swooned…so there!

His big number for me was that yobs in future could be grounded for a month, yes… oh yes! – that’s a big fat bloated four whole weeks! Now you tell me…what stinking little noggin of excrement would relish that – eh? Yeah…that’s wiped the smirk off your face.

He’s also iced the caked for me as well. How? Well just you stand back. This’ll pickle your onions. Yobs will be made (perhaps) to go into your local park and…are you strapped down for this…MADE TO TIDY IT UP!... now then.

And another thing, this: ‘much needed ready meal and bottle of wine’ I’m with you on the ready meal thing – but a bottle of wine, are you kidding? When I get home from a heavy shift, I just sink back into my favourite chair and throw back a bottle of good old honest stout.
Never heard of it? What’s that…what kind of stout is it…well I don’t have my glasses on right now…let me see if I can spell it out though, here goes B.O.L.L.I.N.G.E.R.

So, wipe your nose on that little lot!

Shades Of Ansel said...

Cameron is Blair Mk2.Nothing he or his cronies have said this week,have made me feel any better.In fact,if anything,I'm even MORE worried now,because I've realised they don't give a shit too.And that opening salvo on the sick.I'm on incapacity,BUT have a genuine illness.I have arthritus and polyneuropathy which is destroying my muscles and central nervous system.No dobt the first thing he'll want from me when he gets in power,is to be poked and prodded,assumed guilty and endlessly questioned to see if I'm a fraud.I've been there with Labour,and the appeal court couldn't understand why the hell the 'doctor' had come to his diagnosis.Its humiliating and degrading for genuine people.Why don't they get people to have MRI and EMG tests for example?If the claiment is found to be pulling a crafty one,make them pay back the cost of the scans.You would then eleviate this demoralising process,and people who were truly ill,would not have to feel like something you bought in under your shoe.

I am Stan said...

¨yobs grounded for a month¨

Oh spirits of my forefathers give me fucking strength!...what weak willed pussyfooting crap is this...

You can bet your last loaf if one of these yobs was caught breaking into their rangerover it would be more than a months early bed for them...

back home in my village if a young warrior gets out of line he gets given the good news with a sjambok good style!

see.. they don`t give two fucks if your streets are being ruled by gangs of thugs and merciless feral youths...

theres always plenty of coppers down Leafy Manors Lane....


Frank Davis said...

the Tories are acutely aware that 52 pubs per week are closing

Are they? I'd never have guessed.

Anonymous said...

I honestly think it would be worth everyone voting UKIP and handing Liebore another victory so that the tories can learn that they really have to offer what their supporters want rather than cobbling together a Blair style compromise. Disgusting.