Will The Real Conservatives Please Stand Up?

I'm so looking forward to David Cameron's filibuster today.

I mean, how on earth is he going to deliver an election clarion call with a dozen fence posts firmly lodged between his rear seating cushions?

The Lisbon referendum issue, for example, has been well addressed elsewhere. The upshot being that the Tories will definitely maybe tackle it ... perhaps. If the treaty is ratified by the Czechs, which Cameron knows is almost certain, he will apparently wave his arms around like Kevin the teenager, crying "S'not fair, I hate you". Well, I think that's the gist of it, anyway.

There isn't much inspiring stuff emanating in other areas either. Now, forgive my naïveté, but I sort of believed that this conference was going to be about the Tories sticking great big knives into a crippled Labour party. Emphasising the huge differences between airy-fairy lefty ideology which has brought the country to its financial, spiritual and emotional knees - and Tory principles such as self-determination and personal responsibility.

Here we are, a nation crying out for a different set of beliefs, for a party that will reject every ridiculous dogmatic policy forcefully injected into our lives by this most despised government in history, and the response from the most likely successors is ... wait and see.

Actually, that's probably being unfair. They have said they will increase the retirement age by a year for women, and also committed to the drastic step of freezing public sector pay for an entire year. Yes. A full twelve months! Radical, huh?

OK, enough of that. Let's get down to this blog's pet subject.

From the Conservative Party web-site:

Business

Our goal is simple: to make Britain the easiest and best place in the world to set up and grow a business.

Oh yes. So how are they going about that, then?

Well, let's leave Liberal Vision to point out a few set-in-stone policies, shall we?

Working classes should not be allowed to drink late - or shop late for that matter….

First off, the Conservatives pledged today to ”tear up” the Government’s licensing regime and give “local residents” the power to block late alcohol licenses. Local councils will also be able to charge higher fees for pubs and clubs wishing to open after 11pm and they will impose a levy on corner shops and takeaway outlets that stay open beyond 10.30pm and sell alcohol.

This is supposedly in order to pay for the extra policing - and will we see more police on the streets ? Of course we wont. Will we see more pubs,clubs and corner shops close? Yes we will. We poor working folks that get home late from work and pop into the corner shop to grab a much needed ready meal and bottle of wine will of course suffer, but this should not affect the leafy lanes of Surrey and Richmond.

Can you not see those businesses growing wildly under such a regime? Chris from Epsom & Ewell can, it would seem.

Actually working classes should not be able to enjoy low cost alcohol anytime

In the same speech, Grayling announced that supermarkets will be banned from selling alcohol at below cost price as a loss leader and taxes on certain drinks (including alco-pops and super-strength beer) will be rapidly increased.

Err ... are you Labour in disguise?

Chris. Mate. How is that making Britain the easiest and best place to grow a business?

Fortunately, the Tories are acutely aware that 52 pubs per week are closing, considering the fact that two thirds of Tories voted against the smoking ban that killed them. A party that wishes to enhance property rights, personal responsibility and defend the business owner's freedom to be self-determinant, are definitely going to do something about it, aren't they?

Course they fucking are - not.

"Mr Simmonds [Tory shadow minister for health] agreed with Mr Clark that the smoking ban is merely pushing the problem into people’s homes or onto the streets, but said it is a law that no Government would overthrow."

Staggering, ain't it?

A non-committal government in waiting can only be absolutely certain on one thing. That they are going to fuck up your leisure time more than the one which the country is currently in the process of rejecting.

A party who are supposed to be all for punishing the guilty, whilst allowing those who pose no threat to society to live their lives freely, are advocating - collective punishment, the presumption of guilt, restrictions on informed personal choice, and the denial of businesses to exercise their own rights on their property - as firm manifesto commitments.

The rest we are supposed to guess at.

Judging by the evidence on display, I don't reckon the rest will be too appealing either, do you?

Or, as Liberal Vision puts it.

Yes people. Today we were given a revealing insight of what Cameroonian Britain will look like. It may be many things but “liberal” it aint.

Quite.