The Irish referendum result is scary enough as it is, but if it leads indirectly to anymore of this nonsense, there's a serious possibility that I could do time.
Listen, Ibis, a croissant, a slice of cheese and a smile is not a breakfast, OK? Especially not at £5.50 a pop.
Actually, forget the smile too if an experience at a Holiday Inn Express in Stevenage last year is anything to go by. For the simple reason that you serve your bloody self!
Let's be honest about this, it's a ploy to offer cheap rooms disguised by a nod to health-conscious dogma. Continental breakfast? Fuck off - you're sited in England.
Breakfast must include bacon, and at least one choice of egg serving, or it isn't a fucking breakfast. Sausages and beans would be nice too, the fried tomato I can take or leave.
Cookies, Brazilian fruits and uncooked Spanish meat? What the fuckety-fuck is that?
Being a tight-fisted bastard, I reluctantly booked the place anyway. I figure, it's in the Midlands so there must surely be a greasy spoon nearby. Or, at worst, a McDonalds.
Continental breakfast, my arse.