Wednesday 29 July 2009

Posh Bloke Apologises For Being Like Us

David Cameron has expressed regret for his foul-mouthed tirade this morning.

It was awfully rum behaviour, what? I know I was on that radio station which plays Lily Allen singing about wet patches and giving head, and I know that people hear the terms I used, on a daily basis, but my saying them is quite wrong.

Of course people are going to be offended by an Old Etonian conversing in the same manner as the rest of the population.

Well, he didn't say that but you get the idea.

Cameron doing the fashionable thing, 'expressing regret' for his comments this morning, appears yet more career politician risk-averse nonsense to me and I wish he hadn't. Now, if he'd said that Twitter was a bag of shit application populated by vacant ferret-fuckers and bollock-scratchers, or that the public were fizzing at politicians and wished to see them gang banged up the brown starfish by a dozen AIDS-ridden Polish labourers, all to Womens Institute radio, one could understand the need for an apology.

But for fuckity-fuck's sake, 'pissed off' and 'twat', especially in the context of the interview, and to the audience concerned, are nothing more than common-or-garden vocabulary. Why the fuss?

Probably to assuage the legions of 'anonymous complainants' just itching to get righteously offended. And the professional politicians created them all, with the daft offence-free society they have installed, instead of telling the anally retentive wankers to go impale themselves on a rusty spike.

What's more, by saying sorry for something which wouldn't have caused even a murmur of disapproval in any group of everyday citizens, Cameron is giving succour to the miserable cock-sockets who search for such things to complain about.

Like the thousands of morally-outraged who were moved to complain to the BBC about Jonathan Ross's (admittedly tasteless) radio show when only 2 of those who listened felt aggrieved, or the 23 charmless groups who went to the trouble of registering a complaint with Wookey Hole after reading the 'fun' story about their recruitment ad for a witch (bad luck with that by the way, Debs).

Don't apologise to these cunts, David, it only boosts their ego and encourages them to be 'offended' by more and more irrelevant nonsense. Instead, they should be ignored and marginalised from decent society, ridiculed by TV comedians, condemned by the tabloids as miserable anti-social gits. As was dished out to Mary "I watched it three times and was offended more each time" Whitehouse in the 70s.

As for the MSM. Stop making such a big fuss. One minute you're flagellating an MP for being out of touch as he has a moat, the next you're making headlines about how a posh guy says things that we tend to do. You can't have it both ways.

The real story, that of what Cameron thinks about Tory election chances and how he feels about being Prime Minister, was relegated to a few paras further down which almost no-one will see.

To add balance, Harriet Harfuckwit was equally over-sensitive in apologising to Martin Sheen for a bit of light-hearted radio banter in March.

Oh, and if anyone has been offended by my language in this article? Fuck you. I hope that helps.


Anonymous said...

He's gone and aired his chocolate starfish wrapper in public there.

Ian B said...

It's the moral hegemony in play. Installed in the nineteenth century, still with us, shambling along like a zombie. It is the wellspring from which all our troubles, er, spring. We won't get rid of all the bullshit until we take it out back and blow its brains out.

Pavlov's Cat said...

a statement from Absolute earlier said that nobody had actually complained.

It's this whole, 'gosh somebody might be offended, you better apologise' culture.

The righteous are experts on picking this up

shameless plug Three Monkeys

Captain Ranty said...

When he wins next year, (and he will, make no mistake), it will be more of the same shite.

We'll all be saying "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss".

We need a radical shake up of politics in this Euro-Region. (Don't get me started on that...)

Semtex is my personal preference.

Dick Puddlecote said...

No apology needed for a relevant link, Pavlov ... in fact no need in the case of an irrelevant one either (unless it's to advertise NRT, of course).

Come friendly bombs and all that.

Anonymous said...

I laughed hard at the picture. :D

Barking Spider said...

I thought his twit/twat comment was really funny and see no need whatsoever for this false moral outrage from all the usual suspects. Scraping around trying to make another story out of nothing just shows how desperate they are. Great post.

Unknown said...

'AIDS-ridden Polish labourers'
Being half polish I took this personally. Sorry.

Time for me to move on.

Anonymous said...

It is an astonishing phenomenon. A similar kind of double standard exists in letters of complaint. If you write what you really think about Npower or the City Council Department for Making Things Up, you get sniffy replies containing words like 'offensive' and 'aggressive'. Don't they actually want to know that I consider them all to be useless, incompetent, time-wasting, ignorant, citizen-hating wastrels whos hould be rounded up, tied up, and shot up with industrial grade abattoir cleaner with extra phenol? I mean, if someone hated me so much, I should know about it.

Unknown said...

"Two Tweets make a Twat!" Bloody, let me see, how many Tweets have I done this week? Oh, just call me a fucking twat!

The End (Bye Bye!) said...

Well said, DP. Great picture as well!

Angry Exile said...

Camernong isn't even being original. The blandest man in the universe had a similar episode a few months back and was accused of trying to make himself more appealing by dropping a swearword into the interview. I defended the guy at the time because the professional offence takers did jump on him for it, all in the name of charidee and profile raising, or being media whores in other words. But after seeing the Cameron clip I've changed my mind. Politicians shouldn't be allowed to swear on broadcast media - it's too much like watching your dad dance at a wedding.

Witterings from Witney said...

Whilst not a fan of DC, it is refreshing to hear one of the elite speaking in plain English.

Perhaps politicians should try it more often and, to any of those 'offended' quote your final words.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Chris @ 09:40: That is either the mosat deeply subtle purposely ironic comments ever, or it is incredibly ironic in a different manner.

Edgar: Good point. That is another aspect of the new culture of instant offence, businesses use it liberally to stifle complaint.

BTS said...

He could have at least have had the decency to say that he was sorry for offending any idiotic fucking cunts out there..

Unknown said...

You rumbled me on this one Dick, I got just too clever for my own good and it didn’t work. I had two better posts which I deleted.

Back to the toilet…tissues, Mayfair mag…no wait a minute – I’ll try busty babes this time!

Dick Puddlecote said...

That's a relief, Chris. Or should I say that with you reading Busty Babes and all that? ;-)

(I think we'd all miss your Pythonesque comments should you truly get offended)