Sunday 8 August 2010

He's Out ... Of His Mind

Proof, if any were needed, that money really doesn't buy calm tranquility. A pleasant Sunday afternoon but Duncan "righteous dick-in-chief" Bannatyne is in a right old tizzy. In between venting fury over James Caan (who he?) doing something he doesn't like, the man who carries our collective conscience in his ever-caring arms spouted thus.

He is, of course, not trivialising child abuse. No, not at all. In fact, he's very generous in not quite putting smokers on the same level as paedophiles.

@TracyA1972 Yes of course there should be a sliding scale, i didn't sa (sic) they were the same as Gary Glitter
How very generous. But child abusers they are, nonetheless. Quite a sweeping statement, one would think, yet the first reply suggesting that anyone who agrees with his majestic fuckwittery could be a trifle distracted by 'slebrity' is met with righteous anger.

@HoneyTicketyBoo You just verbally abused most of my followers & you don't even know them
But he knows all 12 million smokers intimately enough to make and pronounce judgement, apparently.

Yes he's a royally head-fucked prick but, being a philanthropic sort, I'd like to work out why this seemingly privileged guy's keen business brain appears to go into hypocritical meltdown at the merest mention of tobacco.

For example, surely you must remember his complete denial of ever saying that he wanted kids to be able to report their parents to the police?

Smoking should be banned in cars, and particularly any vehicle with children in it. On a school visit I met a 12-year-boy who wanted to be an athlete who told me that every morning his mother lit up when she was driving to school, even though he'd begged her to stop. He should be able to report her to the police.
There it is in black and white on the Guardian website, yet he has twice denied saying anything of the sort. Strenuously.

Firstly, in a flurry of media appearances following the article - where, go figure, he felt justified to throw a salvo of personal insults at tolerant non-smokers too - and again in the comments to a piece by Andrew Alexander in the Wail.

Interestingly, the latter challenge to his all-pervading authority elicited a stunning contortion of the written word.

Read the article yourself - two or three times if you like - you won't find anything remotely resembling such an assertion.

So Bannatyne, the turgid fuck, entirely fabricated it to enrage his deluded - and yes, sleb-fawning - followers.

And, as he stressed today, Duncan is so very much against drawing conclusions that weren't made, so he is.

@fids I did not liken then (sic) to paedophiles, only you have done that
Perhaps these are new rules for life, Bannatyne-style.

- Dunc can make sweeping statements about people he doesn't know, others can't
- Dunc can throw personal insults, others aren't allowed
- Others are ludicrous for suggesting Dunc's words are inflammatory, Dunc can draw conclusions which don't exist with impunity
- Your kids are Uncle Dunc's concern
- Dunc is a hideous cunt

So now we're clear. OK?


DaveA said...

I see Obnoxio the Clown has Duncan Bannatyne's number.

"Obnoxio TheClown RT @DuncanBannatyne: Smoking in a car carrying children is child abuse. Fact. <-- f*ck off, you twatting c*nt."

JuliaM said...

If he means James Caan the actor, I can't think what he could have done. But he seems to be under the impression that he wants to ban a book, though has refused to explain himself to any non-groupies who have asked...

Anonymous said...

Duncan should lay off the booze. Doesn't he know that alcohol is more dangerous than tobacco and the effects of second hand drinking is far more dangerous than second hand smoke.

Unknown said...

He told me i blow smoke into the faces of babies, simply because my book argues the facts of smoking.

He loves fabricating things and throwing insults around, thinking his money grants him immunity

Witterings from Witney said...

You do have a way with words DP........

Since when was this self-opinionated f'wit appointed spokesman for the nation's health and standards of behaviour?

We get rid of one idiot and another appears. What is it with people called Liam and Duncan?

Anonymous said...

A women I work with, in her last job was commandeered to attend one Dunc's "motivational" sermons.

She said he was brilliant.

I said he was a nicotine Nazi bastard.

Well, a small difference of opinion there I thought.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Seen the level of his followers? This one is ranting about the chiiildren but is quite happy to ridicule disabled kids.

Rabid anti-smokers are severely fucked up individuals.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I reckon Daffy Dunky Ban-it-all is fishing for H.M. Gov's contracts for enforcing us to his Eugenics err "camps", where we can be "re-programmed" on one of his most excellent sunbeds, not that those "MAY" cause melanomas eh Dunc?

You know as in skin cancer?

Christ imagine sparking up whilst on a tanning bed, Dunc would have one of his white coated goons round to give your cranium a 12 pound hammer treatment.

Snowolf said...

Ahh, bless his little cotton socks. What did occur to me the other evening when I caught a few minutes of his TV show where he rescues the sort of British seaside resort that could only be improved by an H-Bomb being dropped (Felixstowe, if I remember correctly), is that when the wind blows his hair, he re-arranges it in exactly the same was as Gordon Brown in that photo.

I then realised his hair is the same colour and the same style as our former Dear Leader.

I've never seen Brown and Bannatyne together.


Anonymous said...

Since the Mail comments have been closed I'll say here on health warnings that, at nearly 75, and as the survivor of a major operation for prostate cancer, it alarms me greatly the the picture on my current pack of pipe tobacco is picture of a drooping cigarette, with a warning that smoking may cause impotence. Well I suppose they did use the word 'may'.

Anonymous said...

Another non-story puff piece:

Bannatyne said: "As well as dealing with guests who cancel at the last minute, leaving no opportunity to resell a room, we also have the problem of those guests who take everything they can from bedrooms, including the bathrobes."

Oh! boo hoo!

I'd leave the prick a few full saucers of fag ends.

Buy some spare towels you whinging cunt, like any other hotelier, how the fuck he made it 61 with all that rage inside is a fucking miracle in itself

Anonymous said...

another puff piece:


5th August - comments = 0

Longrider said...

Anon, bollocks indeed. He is making the assumption that employees will be interested in the same thing and share his "passion". Various employers have tried this type of nonsense in my time and none have worked. While some people might bite, most of us work to earn the mortgage. We then go home to our real lives.

John Pickworth said...

Strange man... seems to regularly miss-spell the easy words but is clearly well practised with 'paedophile'?

Anyway, lay off the fags. They're much less likely to abuse a child than a straight man.... Oh! The other fags? Got ya.

Mind you, I'm not sure that burning a rolled up piece of paper containing some dried leaves is really that big an issue. Surely, a stressed out Mom on the school run sans fags and/or being nagged to death from the rear seats by a young Bannatyne hippy is much more likely to pull out in front of a speeding number 12 bus?

No kids. Its much better to arrive at school with a cough than in a coffin. Besides, try winding down the window you moron.

Sam Duncan said...

so are banatine boo hiss and nigel molesworth the goriller of 3b cheers cheers related? i think he should explane himself.

mind you molesworth was never averse to a few quick cigs behind the bike sheds hem-hem. he sounds more like fotherington-tomas to me. or - god forbid - a MASTER.

rb said...

Of course this all started with that prick Dr Field, Chairman of the Royal Society of GPs, Here is the text of the email I sent to the dimwits via their chief executive.

Dear Sir/Madam,

Unfortunately I can’t find a direct email address for your Chairman, Dr Steve Field, so I hope you will pass on this message for me.

I read with the usual face/palm reaction the utter drivel spouted by this cretin in the Observer in which he pontificates about how we are all too fat, too addicted to alcohol and too stupid to stop smoking.

Apparently smoking in a car with children in tow is now child abuse according to this pompous arse. I grew up surrounded by a gran who always, and I mean always, had a fag in her mouth, ash drooping into our mashed potato, and hey, guess what, she died in her late seventies and I grew into a strapping 15 stone rugby player who played the game for nearly 30 years and who, at 45, has not needed to see his doctor, apart from the odd broken nose, for about twenty years. At the same time my tax contributes to the cost of the very often entirely fictitious diatribes now delivered by GPs to the world at large.

Will you people please stop? Your job is to mend sick people. They are the ones who come to see you. Those of us who are not sick do not. Your perspective is skewed. GPs ripped off the last incompetent government to negotiate for themselves a contract that was neither deserved nor appropriate. Just enjoy the money and stop telling me how to live my fucking life.

In short, can you please tell Dr Field to fuck the fuck off?

Many thanks,

Yours, etc.


Anonymous said...

rb - bet the smelling salts had to be used after reading that!

I have to go to Banityne's hotel next week (happily I won't be increasing his profits by spending any money). He has ashtrays outside on the fairly numerous tables with canopies - admittedly very nice, but then, our Dunc is a businessman first and foremost.

Wonder if he would like to ban smoking at those tables if one of The Treasured is there with parents? After all, it can't be any safer to expose The Treasured outside than in a car with open windows acting like super-chimneys. Hope the dilemma would send him into an apoplectic fit.