Friday 15 October 2010

Climate Change: The, Err, Second Biggest Threat To The Planet

The first, it would seem, is consensual sex.

Italy to combat prostitution by cutting trees

For decades, local law enforcement and politicians have struggled to police the Bonifica del Tronto road, a haven for the sex trade that runs inland for more than 10 miles from the Adriatic coast alongside the river Tronto. Over the years, cameras have been installed, raids mounted, 24-hour patrols implemented and the mayors of towns near the road have signed bylaws imposing fines on prostitutes' clients. All to no avail.

At the end of last month, the regional government's public works chief, Angelo Di Paolo, announced that the time had come for drastic measures. He said he had agreed with provincial and municipal representatives to cut down all the vegetation "around and along the banks [of the river Tronto]", in which the prostitutes ply their trade.
Hmmm, that sounds familiar. Yes, I definitely remember something like it earlier this year.

Council chops down 6,000 trees at beauty spot to stop 'doggers'

More than 6,000 trees have been chopped down by a council at a stunning beauty spot - to stop couples having sex in public.

The conifers were felled on the 12 hectare site after it became a hotspot for 'dogging' - where people have sex with strangers while being watched.
Because, you see, climate change is an imminent worldwide catastrophe (we're even going to require another planet to sustain us by 2030), but nothing boils righteous piss quite like people bumping uglies in an unapproved manner.

So, first things first, eh?


Bucko said...

You must understand that we have to regulate anything that humans enjoy.
Sex, drugs, fags, booze, food, Pencil sharpeners.
If we didnt, how many people would be out of a job?
Enforcement officers, councillers, outreach workers, customs officers, charities, hostels..


Dick Puddlecote said...

The pencil sharpeners thing may have been solved. This bunch of irrelevances have been canned. :)

As for the rest of what you said ... spot on.

Bucko said...

Wow! There's a committe on the safety of devices?
I thought I'd head it all today when I found the All Party Parliamentry Group For Brain Tumors. Jeez??

Mark Wadsworth said...

I can't think of anything funny to say, so let me quote from the MW manifesto, prostitution will be legalised and doggers and nudists and so on will be allocated their own special areas to get on with dogging and being naked. Each to his own.

Shug Niggurath said...

Maybe thy want the trees chopped down so they can get a better view?

I seen this elsewhere, but it was the local WWF chapter demanding the trees get left alone. I do love when the righteous run into each other.

JuliaM said...

Why don't the Eyeties simply treat them to tea and biscuits and threaten to arrest anyone who complains about them for a 'hate crime', like our police force?

Anonymous said...

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool
That's amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That's amore

Anonymous said...

Dick your comment on this 'bunch of irrelevances' is unkind. Noting that the 21 members receive expenses only and having glanced through a sample of the minutes of their meetings, we must all agree that they are all in desperate need of psychiatric help.