Saturday 2 October 2010

Major League Miserabilists

I'd say that this story is the benchmark for bland, soulless, unbending miserabilism ... if it weren't for the fact that we've kinda been here before.

It's been 15 years since the Cincinnati Reds baseball team last won their National League Championship. So, having achieved that very feat this season, they were dead pleased, so they were.

What a day, eh? Joy unconfined, and state pride bolstered as all Ohioans toasted the exploits of their stars.

Well, all but five joyless whiny cunts and the incedibly dull-witted automatons at the public sector health department, of course.

Complaints of players smoking cigars indoors after they clinched the National League Central Division were filed Tuesday night.

Players could be seen on TV smoking their celebratory cigars in the locker room handed out by Reds owner Bob Castellini.

Five people called a statewide smoking ban complaint hotline, said Rocky Merz, health department spokesman.

State law requires a health inspector to go out within 30 days to see if anyone is smoking.

But the Reds won't know when that will be.

"We come in unannounced, obviously," Levy said.
Quite why anyone should find this remotely necessary is anyone's guess because in Ohio, as previously mentioned, scenes like this happen ONCE EVERY 15 FUCKING YEARS!

Here's an idea for Ohio's charmless state rubber band flickers. Instead of wasting your time on a fool's errand at the behest of the terminally deranged, how about telling the complainants that they are batshit crazy and should seek psychiatric help?

'Cos they are, and they should.

It's curious that those who disagree with smoking bans are ignored, and denied any exemption or compromise, on the premise that more are supposedly in favour than not - yet when the overwhelming majority are unconcerned by an understandable momentary transgression of an overweening illiberal law, it only takes an almost negligible, hideously anti-social, minority to prompt public servants into pointless administrative action.

Well done on your success, Cincinnati Reds. It's just a shame that the moment has been marred by a handful of mean-spirited killjoys and spineless public-funded fucktards.

For further reading, there is a good article on this issue here

H/T Reason

UPDATE: Ohio take their ban very seriously it would seem. Just as Megan's Law requires information on paedophiles to be available to the US public, so does Ohio 'name and shame' by providing a searchable database of smoking ban violations. Jesus wept!


Joe said...

TBH the Reds are my team in baseball and I was closer to complaining that they won the pennant I have a thing about the hopeless underdog

But ffs how long does this have to go on do something pretty f'in big, in the terms of the sport, and go mental!!! exactly what I'd do :p

Sam Duncan said...

“Five people called a statewide smoking ban complaint hotline”

Okay, operative words here: “five” and “statewide”. The population of Ohio is 11,542,645, give or take, according to Wikipedia. So the other 11,542,640 couldn't give a flying fuck.

That'll be democracy, then.

Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur said...

I had the pleasure of seeing Cincinnati play the San Francisco Giants in August. A very gung-ho team who play the game in the right way.

The smoking Stasi jobsworths can just fuck right off.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, off topic post but I've just been looking at the Equality Act that went through last week. While much of it is sheer Labour lunacy (yet pushed through by the Tories - hmmmm) as a F2C member one thing jumped out. It is now illegal to ask women to stop breastfeeding in "public spaces" - and we all know what their definition of public spaces is (although strangely, this bit of the Equality Act doesn't apply to breastfeeding at work). So now we're in the position where the owner of a pub or cafe can't tell some tattooed land-whale to stuff her seeping tits back into her clothes WHILE SHE IS ON HIS PROPERTY, even if he and all of his patrons object. Meanwhile, as we all know, no-one can light up on that property even if the owner wants it, all the customers want iy and all the staff want it.

Bye bye property rights. We are serfs again.

Anonymous said...

That said, we did tell them that this would happen. Soon it will be illegal to do anything that isn't left-approved and it will be illegal to stop the left from perpetrating whatever action they like. It seems offence and nuisance is a one-way street.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Anonymous 18:42.

'owner of a pub or cafe can't tell some tattooed land-whale to stuff her seeping tits back into her clothes WHILE SHE IS ON HIS PROPERTY'

Made I cuffaw it did

banned said...

"State law requires a health inspector to go out within 30 days to see if anyone is smoking."
That's them really on the ball!

I hear of pubs that have 'smoke-ins' after hours and a lad told that they regularly smoke at music gigs at "The (major concert venue)"

Since we largely caved in to the smoking ban my own city has just one Smoking Cessation Officer and he only acts on complaint, I don't suppose he is kept very busy.

banned said...

Just found this in the minutes of a meeting of the City SOCIAL, HEALTH AND INCLUSION PARTNERSHIP MEMBER FORUM MEETING

(Councilor)felt that whilst a smoke free city might be a desirable outcome, it was not that simple to achieve. Whilst there was plenty of enthusiasm and encouragement, there were currently no legitimate powers of enforcement.

So that's their underlying aim.

J Bonington Jagworth said...

"We come in unannounced, obviously," Levy said.

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, either.