Monday 13 April 2009

Department Of Health Out Of Control

While we're all on the subject of sick individuals in government departments, let's not forget the Department of Health, for whom the term 'sick' doesn't quite do justice to their psychotic tendencies.

I've mentioned before that they are disgusting cunts, but it's always worth emphasising that fact every time that they get slapped down for perverted scaremongering, paid for, of course, by us.

Health experts have accused the Government of using "ludicrous scare tactics" in a public information campaign which links eating a fairy cake to early death.

One - which shows a picture of a young girl of healthy weight and appearance, biting into a fairy cake, and captioned: "Is a premature death so tempting?" - has provoked a backlash from parents, chefs and obesity experts.

It's quite correct that the DoH should be called to account for such ridiculous shit. The ads no doubt motivated the clinically obese health supremo, Liam Donaldson, to binge-wank over his computer screen in joyous self-congratulation. Because let's be in no doubt, this is pure healthist porn. The DoH has been producing such for quite a while now.

Remember this filth that was banned by the ASA in May 2007?

Then we had the recent ASA ruling that kids were being scared into thinking their parents would die every time they smoked, prompting a banning of the ads until after 7:30pm.

Of course, the righteous at the DoH were unrepentant.

A spokesperson for the Department of Health said: "Our advertising is not meant to shock but to make adult smokers think about their smoking behaviour and the effect it has on their loved ones."

Not meant to shock? You lying perverts. You're no doubt too busy moaning and stuffing vibrating eggs up each others' arses, whilst watching the footage, to realise that your actions might be psychologically harming the chiiildren you purport to 'protect'.

The latest condemnation of the appalling methods employed by the DoH should be particularly shocking to them seeing as it emanates from those who would normally be on their side. So are the DoH cowed? Of course not. Why should they be? They have already thrown their keys into a big bowl, and have paired off to look at the moving pics of the girl eating a fairy cake, whilst indulging in a mass orgy involving a variety of battery-powered toys that Dawn Primarolo bought from Ann Summers (charged to Jacqui Smith's expenses of course ... allegedly).

A spokesman for the Department of Health said the campaign was based on extensive research.

He insisted the two adverts, which have been backed by charities Diabetes UK, Cancer Research UK and The British Heart Foundation, did not use scare tactics, but "straightforward language" and pointed out that obesity costs the NHS £4.2 billion a year.

Didn't use scare tactics? Are you fucking sure? What on earth is more of a scare tactic than insinuating that eating a fairy cake is going to bring on premature death, you fucknuts?

I'm sure, dear reader, that you are there ahead of me, but did you notice the mention of a few organisations amongst the DoH spokesperson's verbal retching? Yes, it's our old friends, the shitstick charities. The ones who pose as caring for you, whilst simultaneously spending donations on lobbying government to stop you enjoying your life. When they ask you to 'race for life', they don't tell you that the money will be used to pay for their lobbying consultant, do they? When they ask you to ride from London to Brighton, they don't mention that they will use your sponsorship to scare your kids witless.

Of the dozens of mothers who took part in the site's [Mumsnet] discussion about the advert, none spoke in its favour.

Several expressed fears that their over-the-top health messages were leaving children terrified, and at risk of developing a complex about food.

One, who said she was "infuriated" by the "terrible and simplistic" adverts described her child as already being "brainwashed" by exaggerated messages about healthy eating promoted by schools.

She said: "Her dad gave her sugar on her cereal and she became very upset about dying."

The DoH is paying for these adverts out of our money. They are using funds, extracted from us under threat of fines and imprisonment, to hector us on how we should live our lives. They then pass on a fair chunk to charities to lobby them on how they should best do it. The result is a cabal of righteous onanists who see themselves as arbiters of our moral well-being.

The truly disgusting part of it all is that we can get as angry as we like at the DoH, but they hide behind charities, as the Change4Life campaign web-site front page above shows, safe in the knowledge that no-one will have the balls to gut a cancer charity, or a heart disease charity, or a diabetes charity.

Well, I fucking will.

Cancer Research UK should be directing their £476m income towards researching a cure for cancer, not lobbying government for micro-management of our lives. Personally, I won't donate even a single dangleberry to a charity that advertises on the premise of curing cancer but then diverts funds to a tobacco advisory group.

The British Heart Foundation should stop lying and should on no account be using any of their £185m receipts to employ staff to collude with the DoH in telling kids that they will die if they eat a fairy cake.

Diabetes UK almost have an excuse, seeing as their field has at least a passing relevance to cakes, but perhaps their £29m turnover would be better spent not partaking in an ill thought-out campaign which could push healthy kids into a future of misery and beholden to help from other charities.

Or is that the point with the 'third sector' now? It is, after all, almost an extension of the public sector, such is the society that Labour have contrived to inflict in the past 12 years.

There is now an almost unlimited supply of government porn in our media.

UK Government poised to be biggest advertiser

LONDON - The government is on track to overtake Procter & Gamble as the UK's biggest-spending advertiser, after the latter cut its adspend by 10%.

One can almost hear lardy Liam's flies being unzipped at the prospect of the filth to come.

You're being told to think twice before feeding that fairy cake to your child, might I suggest instead that you should think very carefully about how your country should be run in the future?

Next time you see a box on a ballot paper with a Labour candidate next to it, think carefully about how putting an X in it could ruin your life. Next time a charity asks you for money, ask them exactly what they are spending the money on. And next time you see or hear a DoH advert graphically describing death or disability for the simple pleasure of enjoying a legal product, think of Liam Donaldson with his pants round his ankles.


timbone said...

I spent a weekend at an event last January, and was sharing a room with a young doctor doing his 12 month stint in A&E. He thought the smoking ban had gone too far, and supported me in an argument with a brainwahed music student about SHS. I was discussing with him adverts which scare children, and he told me a story.
When he was about 5, it was the time of the infamous Edwina Currie egg scare - remember? eggs contained salmonela. He couldn't remember how, but he had picked up on it. One morning, his mother gave him a boiled egg, and he said to her in all seriousness, "are you trying to murder me?"

Unknown said...

Dear Mr. Puddlecote. I take particular umbrage at your language, which is vulgar in the extreme...I mean your usage of the 'C' word! No, not cancer but 'cunt!' This is intolerable to us PC vegans, and when you mention the word Fu.., I can't bring myself to use such a foul word! I will be reporting this insult to our hard up charities who wa... err, spend our donations for a worthy and just cause, stopping our kids from eating killer fairy cakes! We should also be taking the milk from schoolchildren, that's a killer too...oh Thatcher done that a few decades ago...good girl.

Disgusted of Middlesbrough.

Anonymous said...

Well said.

No need to worry on my account though - never again will Nu-Lab get my vote and I stopped giving to these so-called charities a while back.

This scare-mongering filth has gone way too far. Thankfully it is now showing up as being part of Nu-Labs downfall - and so it should.

Denormalisation disgusts me

Anonymous said...

The Government are doing themselves no favours.
As a lot of them probably like offering sweets to kids for services rendered, I don't think that offering a stick of celery to a 10 year old boy or girl will do the trick.
Still they can always get a DVD out to watch instead.

vincent1 said...

Well said Dick (loved the humour BTW).
It is disgusting, let's see if the anorex problem rises, I am sure it will.
Giving kids nightmares is healthy is it, yeah right.
I gave up the so called charities, (when I realised after monthly contributions) for over 20 years, that research, does not just mean research.
I do not trust any charity with "Foundations" in it either. Polictical charities stink, that is what some of them have become.
Thank you for a great blog, which I enjoyed reading.

Anonymous said...

I thought there was a name for people who like to use children to satisfy their own perversions, now what was it?

Mark Wadsworth said...

I looked at the screenshot, saw the four fakecharities and didn't need to bother reading the rest.

James Burr said...

Exceelent, excellent post!

BTS said...

I reckon they got the slogan wrong. I'd have gone with 'Put the deep-fried mars bar down or the little girl gets it'.

Or maybe 'Lay of the lard or we take this girl's cherry'..

banned said...

On the plus side the constant barrage of boring and unfunny Government propaganda on independent not-so-local radio has finally weaned me off those stations.

Roger Thornhill said...

I don't have any real issues with the ad showing the hook, for tobacco is addictive and it hooks people.

However, all the other scaremongering is appalling, but when have facts got in the way of propaganda?