Wednesday 10 March 2010

Introducing ... Passive Obesity

We knew it was coming. The only uncertainty was how the righteous could possibly contrive to justify it.

Many obese people face an increased risk of illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes and cancer. On average, their lives will be shortened by nine years.

But some might be unwittingly putting the lives of others at risk too.

These additional fatalities are occurring not in Britain's cardiac units, but on the country's roads, due to people falling asleep at the wheel of cars and lorries.

Ripped straight from the pages of the tobacco control prohibition manual, behold the brand new health threat on the block. Passive obesity.


Unknown said...

I'm fairly sure the righteous came out with the phrase "passive drinking" not so long ago DP. Whatever next, Passive Voting...oh wait...

Anonymous said...

Looks like its compulsary medicals for truckers soon.
Same as pilots.
What do you think ?
More state interference in business.
That's what I think.

Bucko said...

Notice how they managed to include some kind of motoring offence in there too?

"We should ban smoking in cars to protect children"
"What about cars with no children in them?"
"Ban it anyway because smoking is a distraction".

Meaning - We want to tax and fine smokers but we can also create another tax/fine for drivers. Two easy targets with the same stone.

"We need to tax fat folk/ food industry. But wait, we can also tax/fine drivers for the same reasons."

JuliaM said...

Oh, FFS..! Does it never stop?

Mark Wadsworth said...


I'll see your passive obesity and raise you a third-hand obesity. If nobody has a fourth-hand obesity to play, I think you'll find I won that round.

Pat Nurse MA said...

Do not mock Mr Puddlecote - my friend was a victim of passive obesity - a fat person fell on him and broke his leg. It is a very serious problem.

Simon Cooke said...

You'll of course have noted also that the study paraded across our broadcast media this morning on sleep apnia was PAID FOR BY THE COMPANY THAT MANUFACTURE THE KIT FOR CONTROLLING SAID DISORDER

Dark Lochnagar said...

It can be a major problem. It's called sleep apnoea and it's generally fat males over 50 with a lot of fat around their necks who get it. I know because I have it. I was falling asleep at the the drop of a hat sometimes in the middle of a conversation. I nearly had sevgeral accidents through falling asleep at the wheel. I was given a machine which breathes for me as I sleep, but I still haven't driven for two years. And yes, I could easily have killed someone, so it is a problem but not as a generality.

Anonymous said...

I think you missed the point, that the good intentions of this campaign may result in a new ban that will save the lives of millions at a time we need saving most. It's especially cruel of you to not be thinking of the children first and foremost and then us skinny people wishing to not be hypnotically seduced by the obese into stimulating ourselves to then eat unhealthy foods uncontrollably and sleeping at the wheel in the future. This is a serious epidemic and the government should invest tax-money into a charity or two that can combat the 2nd hand obesity disease with a strong information campaign accompanied by bans designed to leave our children with a better world in which to live. I will be watching eagerly to see the three parties respond to this declared emergency and whichever seems to promise the most tax money be spent is the one for which I will vote in the next general election. In the meantime I will continue to pray in silence that during my travels across the country nobody currently afflicted with the obesity epidemic comes into direct contact or secondary eye-sight of myself, thus sparing me the same debilitation which could too easily be spread to my children when I return home.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Anon, previous comment is heading in the right direction, but he or she doesn't suggest a suitable snappy name for the corresponding fake charity.

May I suggest "ThinKon"?

Could be 'think on' or 'thin con'.

Or possibly "WeightLess"?

Could be "zero gravity" or "less weight", i.e. not as heavy.

It's all work in progress.

lenko said...

They are right in identifying a serious problem. Many of these obese males, or to use the medical term, fat bastards, can be seen on the benches of the House of Commons itself.

Indeed, I have actually seen with my own eyes the moment when apnia struck, the victim's eyes glazing over and his chin slumping down to his chest.

It can sometimes be several hours before normal activity can be resumed and the victim able to enjoy a hearty tax-payer subsidised meal and drink in one of the many Commons restaurantrs and bars.

We must do all we can to help these poor unfortunates, many of whom are due in court this very day.

Please -- give generously.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Lenko, when you wake up and you are in the wrong lane and someone's headlights are coming towards, it's not so funny! ;-)