Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Hung Or Balanced? Same Difference

If only there were still adverts boasting of things made in Wales, they could add 'balanced parliament' to the list.

It seemed odd when Plaid's Wyn Jones talked of it at their manifesto launch.

With a balanced parliament Plaid’s duty will be to negotiate the best deal for Wales and the best deal for our communities.
Isn'it? Look you. Down y'eare.

It's hung, boyo. A hung parliament. Baarlanced? What's that?

Then the yellow jockish kipper started saying it too.

Mr Salmond said: "Far from a balanced parliament being something to fear, it must be something to welcome."
As if the Welsh don't mess us up enough with that odd language which is English but not quite, along with the Scots who can say 'I love you' in an accent which makes you think they are really issuing a threat to scoop your eyeballs out with a rusty spoon, the Welsh give us 'baarlanced' and the Scots weigh in with 'Ah'm gonnae cut yooz oppen lak a tin o bekked beans yer bassa' (or balanced as my interpreter tells me he meant).

Is this a celtic thing?

Well, no. It would seem the Lib Dems are in on this new fad.

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has talked of a "balanced" parliament in a bid to make the prospect of a Commons without any party holding an overall majority more attractive.
What's so avoidable about the term 'hung parliament'?

A prurient distancing of porn terminology, perhaps? As in "John Holmes was a hung actor", or "Linford Christie gained fame in the 1992 Olympics for his hung lunchbox"?

Or has the expenses issue resulted in so much releasing of damp, heated fear from their collars that, in their imagination, the mental image of a parliament being hung would come across as too appealing a prospect to the electorate?

If so, they're not too confident in the ability of the public to distinguish between objects and people. As Nick the Cat Counter points out.

Hung Parliament? Who cares?

Anyone up for a hanged Parliament?
Well, it's all off the agenda now. The new term is 'balanced'. It's more cuddly and less reminiscent of mass political slaughter. Yep, balanced it is going to have to be from now on.

Like this.

Do you know what? I like that much better. Thank you Wales.

Now, which of the post-election intake is first for the different type of rope?

Pic nicked from this story about a complete nutter


Anonymous said...

Hung parliament sounds good to me.
Maybe, just maybe, it will distract them enough from rubber stamping each and every bit of looney legislation they seem to use to fill in their time now.
It will distract them from us.
Yes US.
You know ,the ones who get up in the morning to go to work ,along the speed bumps.
Ouch ow ow .another one .
Scraaaape graaaaanch goes the long suffering exhaust.
Anyone would think they have shares in the speed bump business .no of course not.

The first speed camera ,whoaaa take it easy watch the speedo ,try to look where your going at the same time eh ?

Jeez it's flipping freezing out ere takes another quick drag and goes back in.
At least pigs on pig farms have a hut to hide in.
I don't have a family so any of you who do can probably enlighten me on all sorts of twisted control freakery they put on parents and teachers now if your unlucky enough to be one ,politically that is.

We do not care for them anymore.

And they wonder why ?
I'm losing the plot here .
I have a feeling i'm not the only one.
I think 464 of them lost it decades ago.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Or even 646. Or 653, or whatever it is now. ;-)

Leg-iron said...

The comments on that climbing-jumping nut story just confirm what you said on the Ray Mears post.

They're all along the lines of 'That's dangerous. He shouldn't be allowed to do it. He obviously doesn't care about himself or his girlfriend'.

This country once produced Spitfire pilots. I doubt it could do so again.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Agreed, LI. He did it voluntarily so it's entirely his choice.

I'd prod certain MPs onto it with a stick, though. ;-)

Junican said...

Balanced parliament! Wow! Great phrase! Just like 'smoke-free England". Go for it!

These stupid, idiot, ignorant arse-hole voters will love it!

What was that, George? "England, England, uber alles". Erm...

Anonymous said...

They're trying hard to talk up the awfulness of the paralysis of a hung parliament.

Sounds good to me :)


neil craig said...

The French & Germans & Italians & indeed most anybody else have a particular term for a Parliament where 1 party doesn't have total control. They call it "normal".