Friday 9 April 2010

Transport Tender Question Of The Day

"Do you employ a dedicated Environmental Manager/Department?"
Yes, and we also pay £30k pa for someone to monitor our impact on the fairies at the end of the yard.

Sheesh.


8 comments:

Ciaran said...

I don't suppose answering "no, I live in the real world where money is not supplied by the magical taxpayer, so people are only employed here if there is actually a useful function for them to perform" would have been very productive.

Dick Puddlecote said...

You know it, Ciaran. I think you've guessed it's a public sector tender.

I've even had to google some of the gobbledegook they're asking for.

Whole life cycle analysis? FFS. ;-)

JJ said...

...and we wonder why the public sector wastes so much of our money. They create jobs alright...only they aren't necessary.

Chuckles said...

Don't suppose you can answer 'No, he's a complete slacker, bit of a wanker actually.Not dedicated at all.'?

Or the perennially relevant 'As opposed to what?'

JuliaM said...

Well, if you didn't, that would make you homophobic, wouldn't it?

Dick Puddlecote said...

Chuckles: Like the play on dedicated, med me laff. :-)

lenko said...

"Whole life cycle analysis"... you know -- how long you spent at the caterpillar stage munching leaves; how long it took you to pupate; what you spend your time doing, now that you're a butterfly. FFS, it's not like it's a big deal.

bayard said...

FFS, there are people in the public sector who think that a private sector firm has a dedicated Environmental Department, not just a manager, a whole department.

Yes, I've tendered for publically funded contracts and most of the guff you have to fill out simply screams "makework" at you.