Monday, 31 May 2010

There's A Kind Of Hush

The Puddlecotes have enjoyed Bank Holiday Monday to the full, though I see that some rabid anti-smoking nutters were faithfully glued to their computers.

Just a quick addendum to my earlier post about ASH's hilarious report today, which has been picked up by precisely no-one (is that the faint sound of tumbleweed I hear?).

It seems that not only are their accusations tired and desperate, their language is as unimaginative as it's always been.

"[...] the chief strategy of tobacco control is to smear the opposition by accusing them of being tobacco industry moles." - anti-tobacco activist Michael Siegel talking of his training methods in the 80s & 90s.

"Appendix 1 - The Front Men, Moles & Advocates" - ASH May 31st, 2010
It's the way they tell 'em.


Monty Cristo said...

Mummylonglegs picked up that post at stupid o'clock this morning, so all is not lost and your sage words are being propagated.

Unknown said...

I'm pleased that you and yours had a great day out this bank holiday Monday DP. But there always are they that want do deflate your day...don't let them. Enjoy your family life today because there are people out there that want to destroy it. Don't let them!

It has not been a good weekend for me so I'm a tiny bit on the downside.

Unknown said...

Oops, forgot to tick the box that gives me updates to this thread. Done.

Anonymous said...


Are there no good Knights with
honour and valiant heart who will rid our sceptred isle of these
pestilences and manifestations of

Sad Mondays

JJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JJ said...

Well I most certainly enjoyed my weekend…why? Well you layabouts…here’s why. Whilst you were all enjoying a fun filled Bank Holiday jolly…I was busy giving sensible advice to decent hard working people.

I’ve taken on the role of agony uncle JJ in my local paper. Here’s my first advice column.

Dear JJ,

Please help. My husband doesn’t want to kiss and cuddle me any more since I’ve put on about three stone. Why does this matter, isn’t my personality more important than anything else?

Florence Head-Giver

Hello Florence

Thank you for that question…and the photo that you sent me showing your extra weight.

You say you’ve put on about three stone in weight…three? – how about twenty-three you lying lump of butchers’ gristle, and that face…did you find it in a scrap-yard?

In this photo you look quite ridiculous, and let me tell you now that no man wants to grope between the sheets with a woman who wears a parachute for knickers, and when did you last bathe – eh? I can see tidemarks around your thick rubbery neck, and those jumbo thighs – ugh!

Anyway to satisfy your man babe…you need something special and here it is!

For just £50 quid, I’ll send you my special ‘Satisfy Your Man In A Minute’ kit.


Well it’s full of good sensible advice:

1. How to blow your man properly without biting off his whistle.
2. Have fun oiling your jugs then rolling them around his tool and face.
3. Torment his scrotum with a thistle for that extra orgasmic flourish.
4. Allow your man to bulldoze into you with a giant dildo from behind.
5. Let him flip your nipples like he’s playing a pinball machine, before banging for Britain.
6. A massive blow-up rubber transvestite doll that you can both play with in bed when you get bored with each other.

All this and more, just waiting for that bigger uglier woman who wants to change her life.

As usual all material will be sent under plain cover.

By the way…where the fuck is Glossop?

Phew! I’m glad that’s over…my very first reply…do you think I did OK?

Anonymous said...


Do you throw custards at Matron
on Sunday afternoons.

Glossop.Still use shillings and
fell walking froth sniffers

Red Rosey